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Difference between Passion and Desperation; How to Know If You Are Desperate

There are various reasons that after a certain period of time one starts looking for a significant other and get mentally prepared for it. Now you have overcome previous relationships and know exactly what you want in someone this is now the new you!

You are now confident, self-aware and ready to love someone who wants the same things with you. 

Things happen unexpectedly and not everything turns out as planned or meets your standards. Sometimes a blossoming love can turn into yet heartache and the reason is mostly your inability to differentiate between passion and desperation.

We're looking for recovery after a breakup, we're hurting over betrayal, we're tired of being alone, or were facing many emotions all at once we can’t tolerate being on your own and you would much prefer just having someone’s company. Even yet, if you don't know the difference between desperation and love, the indicators of desperation listed below indicate signs of desperation.

●      You only swipe right

You pull up your apps like tinder anytime you have a spare moment and start looking. You may alter the match radius and the age range — older, younger, closer, and farther. You can swipe right on everyone or left on everyone. Either you're excessively picky or you're not picky at all. It doesn't matter since you're always on the lookout.

●      When you find them, you are stuck to them

Do you find yourself texting, phoning, and otherwise attempting to spend every waking moment with them? You're being overly possessive. Allow him or her to take a breath. Though you attempt to be a part of every aspect of his day, he will feel as if you aren't giving him enough space, and he will flee. Allow him his space while ensuring that yours is maintained. You do not need to be with him at all times of the day. It's actually better if you aren't. Constant interaction only serves to highlight your anxieties.

●      You are always free for them

You are constantly at their disposal. When someone asks you to meet together, you are willing to change your schedule to accommodate him. Don't get me wrong: it's important to make time for the person you're dating, but being constantly accessible might be a sign of desperation. Accepting every request, especially those received on short notice, demonstrates to the other person that you don't have anything else going on.

●      You fall in a very short span of time

Okay, so you snagged a date with someone in a crazy hour of need. But then, after probably about five minutes of grabbing drinks with them, you open your lips and spew a slew of gibberish: "So, what are we precisely?" Things like that, as well as the question of "where, is this heading," should be saved for much later in the relationship. If you ask that question on your first, second, or even third date, you're falling too fast and smelling desperate. Even if you ask on your eighth date or, God forbid, really utter "I love you" after a short length of time, you reek of it.

●      You get involved too quickly

A romantic partner may significantly improve one's view on life. However, if you're planning your future life with your spouse and it's just been a few months, you should take it slowly. Your new companion may merely be testing the waters with you, and becoming too attached too soon might sever your bond. Before you become too attached, take your time and enjoy getting to know the individual.

●      You try too hard to please your partner

When you genuinely like someone or are just starting a new relationship, and you're working so hard to satisfy them that you start to forget your own identity. You're becoming dangerously desperate if you're attempting to morph into the person you believe they'll like. How can you hope to gain the trust of the other person if you change who you are to suit them? It may also make you appear a pushover, and if you're with the wrong type of person, they'll quickly use your agreeableness and use it against you.

Difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship according to psychology

The difference between a healthy and dysfunctional relationship, according to Psychology, is our drive. Our attachment to people is driven by fear and the need to be validated, saved, or protected when our threat brain emotions are prominent. We are driven to encourage reciprocal growth in our connections via compassion, openness, and trust when our safe brain emotions are activated. 'I love you because I need you,' says the threat brain, but 'I need you because I love you,' says the safe brain.

You become emotionally dependent on someone due to the following points:

●     We don't pay enough attention to or comprehend our emotions, especially those of our threat brain, or how they inspire and impact us.

●     We are either unaware of or unwilling to accept and engage with our unconscious experiences, which manifest as feelings of being 'torn' or conflicted by competing wants and desires, for example.

●     To cope, we abuse psychological defenses like denial (there isn't a problem) and projection (it's not me, it's you!)

●     We are alienated from ourselves, which means we do not perceive ourselves as autonomous, integrated beings or as the creators of our own activities, resulting in a sense of emptiness and impotence.

Difference between a desperate man and woman

Desperation may feel the same for both genders yet male and female acts differently. Mentioned below are the signs to watch out if your partner is desperate or not. 

●      Signs your girlfriend is desperate

She is okay with not using protection: Remember that a desperate woman's purpose is to find a spouse and have a family, which she believes she needs for happiness. She'll be glad to lure you into a marriage with an unexpected pregnancy if that's what it takes. If she keeps her plan hidden from you, it will only end in catastrophe.

She is best friends with all your friends: The desperate lady will act as though she didn't have a life prior to meeting you. She will agree with your every point of view, acquire your concerns and interests, and engage in your life as if she has always done so. She'll make friends with your pals and try to persuade them to support her. She's attempting to become utterly unobtrusive to you. She acts in this manner because it initially works. She sneaks her way into your life without your knowledge.

She avoids alone time: She's highly insecure if she can't spend even one evening alone. It's a clear indication that she derives her self-worth entirely from others. She'll also be on the phone or texting frequently. She'll also call and text you on a regular basis.

She showers you with gifts: The needy girl is always doing you favors and buying you presents. She cooks for you, cleans your house, and shops for you. All of this is fantastic unless it's not appropriate for the stage of your romance. The wonderful things you do for each other should be reciprocal, not a perpetual display of adoration on her behalf. She's using all of these unasked-for favors to make you feel obligated to adore her.

●      Signs your boyfriend is desperate

He has no friends: Is he willing to bail out his buddies for you? You may think its lovely that he priorities you above his friends, but if he cancels on them all the time for you, something isn't quite right. He should be able to strike a good balance in his life, devoting equal attention to his pals. But if he likes to be at your side all the time, he's a desperate man.

He has low self-esteem: Men with poor self-esteem are more likely to be desperate than men with high self-esteem. The latter will go to any length to satisfy you, or any other women he believes he has a shot with because he's certain he won't get several.

He moves too fast: You're familiar with him. After the first date, he acts as though you're his one true soulmate. On the second, he says "I love you" or "plays about with the concept of you two moving in together." By the third date, he's actively attempting to persuade you that those things are going to happen that soon.

 He is extremely possessive: Possessiveness isn't a bad thing. A needy lover, on the other hand, will constantly find reasons to accuse and blame you, just because he wants to be proven incorrect about you seeing someone else. This is because he is insecure the majority of the time.

Here are some telling signs of desperation and you must stay away from such people. In the coming articles, we will talk about how to break up with a desperate partner how to check if you are desperate and how to overcome your desperation. Till then for embracing a happy and healthy life keep following WellEQ, a wellbeing platform.